Hell's Kitchen

I could hardly believe what I heard as Michael, the 18 year old ex-gang leader, told his story at the beginning of class…

“I got shot!  The kid shot me two times, once in the leg and once near my hip.  He wasn’t tryin’ to kill me, but he was sendin’ a message for sure.  Any other day, I woulda destroyed him.  I woulda sent him a message, and it woulda been final:  Ya don’t mess with Mike.  I will end you.  But not that day.  That day was different.  ‘Cause that day I decided I was leavin’ the gang.  No more runnin’ from cops.  No more lyin’ to my Mom about where the money comes from.  I’m out.  They’ll find a new leader.  The price to get outta the gang was bein’ shot by this crazy new kid who wanted to get in.  But so be it.  He wanted in, I wanted out, and these scars’ll be a reminder of my old life… one I’m done livin’.  Today’s the start of a new future.”    

He finished, then looked me in the eye and said, “So what are you gonna teach me today, Scotty?  I’m ready to learn.”

I met Michael when I was in my early twenties, teaching a youth entrepreneurship class in New York City’s “Hell’s Kitchen” neighborhood.  Michael was a tough kid sitting in the front row.  I asked if anyone knew how to spell entrepreneur and he raised his hand, then completely massacred the word on the chalk board.  But I immediately loved his willingness to take a risk.  Little did I know that he was the leader of one of the most ruthless gangs in Brooklyn, New York – The Decepticons.  Even so, Michael was eager to learn about business.  He had amazing street smarts, which translated perfectly to business.  Two months later, he decided to leave the gang… but leaving wasn’t easy.  In order to get himself out, he had to get shot.  Not fatally, but enough to deter other defectors, and to remind him to keep his mouth shut.

When I asked Mike what he was passionate about, he told me he’d always loved elevators.  He loved the mechanical system that ran them.  He also regularly complained that all the elevators in the housing project where he lived were broken.  No repair men would come onto the property because they expected to get mugged.  So Michael had the idea to become an elevator repairman. After all, who would dare to try and mug him?  He asked me how he could start his own elevator repair business.  I suggested he start by getting a job with a repair company in order to learn the trade and make sure he liked it.  Michael called for an interview, but was told there was a long waiting list, and that it could take months to even get an appointment.  He asked to speak with the president of the company, and the receptionist said that wasn’t possible.  None of this deterred him.

The next day, Michael put on a business suit and went to the parking lot of the Otis Elevator Company at 6am.  He had learned that the president arrived early each day, typically at about 6:30am.  When the president arrived, he was surprised to see a well-dressed teenager waiting at the door.  Michael explained that he had come early to meet him, even though he knew the business didn’t open until 8.  He described his passion for elevators, his ideas about expanding repair service to the toughest neighborhoods, and his burning desire to learn the business—even at an entry level position.  

The president took out one of his business cards, scribbled a note on the back, and handed it to Mike. He told Mike to come back when they opened and to give the card to the front desk manager.  With that, they shook hands and parted ways.  Mike’s heart was pounding as he looked at the business card and turned it over.  He was stunned to read what the president had written on the card:  “Hire him.”  

What’s your burning desire?  What old ways are you willing to part with because they don’t serve you anymore?  It takes courage to make a change in your life.  Sometimes it can even be painful.  But it’s not too late.  It will never be too late!

Until next week…

Live Your Dreams

The Good Voice

Paul grew up in a tough city, and was known to get into trouble at school.  At age 14, he had a tragic family experience that rocked his world.  His grandfather had died, but while Paul’s family was attending the funeral, his mother suffered a brain aneurysm and she died as well.  This was more than a young boy could take, and he fell into a severe state of depression.

Paul’s father struggled to raise his son alone as he dealt with his own sense of loss.  He became so bitter that he would often convey to Paul that he shouldn’t even bother having dreams because they would only lead to disappointment.  Strangely, his father’s negative outlook on life had the opposite effect on Paul.  Seeing his father in such a state stirred Paul’s ambitions, drew him out of his depression, and fueled his desire to begin dreaming… big.

Paul escaped the pessimistic atmosphere of his home by hanging out with his friends on the street corner.  They formed a little gang and gave each other nicknames; anything to separate themselves from their given names and home lives.  One was called “Goose,” and another went by “Strongman.”  One friend’s face was so sharp and angular that they called him “Edge,” and Paul’s nickname was a joke on the Latin term for “good voice.”

At 16, Paul saw an ad that his classmate Larry posted at school.  Larry was looking to put together a band to play cover songs from groups like the Rolling Stones.  Showing up to audition along with a few of his friends, Paul said he could play guitar, but during the tryout it became obvious he couldn’t.  None of the kids had much talent, and really, they were just looking to get off the streets and do something fun.  They decided to let Paul sing, though at first he really wasn’t very good at that either.

It didn’t take long for the bandmates to get better and for Paul to find his voice.  He learned to sing with such passion that his nickname ceased to be a joke.  “Good Voice” in Latin translates to “Bonovox,” which his friends later shortened to simply Bono.  The band evolved to become U2, and, in a few short years, Paul went from a scrappy kid growing up in northern Dublin to lead singer of the most famous band ever to come out of Ireland.

Bono married his high school girlfriend at 22, and they took a mission trip to Africa a few years later, where they spent a month in Ethiopia doing charity work.  He had really long hair at the time, and the Ethiopian kids would call him, “the girl with the beard.”  Finally, when he was preparing to leave the country, a man approached him and asked if Bono would take his baby back to Ireland to live with him. He pleaded that the baby had a greater chance of survival anywhere else.  Unable to take someone else’s baby, Bono said no, but the experience affected him deeply.  He reflected on the plight of the people in Africa, and became determined that a person’s living or dying should not be decided by where that person lives in the world.

Bono decided to trade his currency as a celebrity to become a humanitarian.  Over the last 25 years, Bono has used his ‘good voice’ for a greater cause, embracing the Live to Give mindset and impacting cultures and causes all over the world.  He has been nominated for the Nobel Prize three times, was named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, was knighted by the Queen, and in 2005 was awarded “one wish to change the world” by the TED organization.

Bono continued to follow his passions as well.  In addition to being awarded more than 22 Grammy awards and being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, U2 recently earned a Golden Globe and an Oscar Nomination for their original song, Ordinary Love, in honor of Nelson Mandela.  Reportedly, Mandela was able to hear the song a week before he died.

One person has the power to do a lot of good.  First step:  Become empowered. Second step:  Empower others.  Ask yourself, “What’s one thing I can do today to ensure I’m pursuing my passions and on my way to living my dreams?  What’s the one thing I can do today to make a difference in the lives of others?”  It’s time to find your voice and sing.

Until next week…

Live Your Dreams,

Bend it Like Bamboo

Ping was the happy child of a merchant family in Shanghai, the largest city in China.  Her parents were well-educated and successful, and the family, including Ping’s younger sister, was very close. 

When Ping was eight years old, China entered the Cultural Revolution, a government effort to enforce communism and remove capitalist elements from Chinese society.  People whose only crime was trying to carve out a better life were persecuted, and many suffered imprisonment, torture, harassment, and seizure of their property.  Some of these individuals were also forcibly displaced from cities to rural areas, and separated from their children in the process.

Ping’s father saw these chaotic events unfolding, and sensed what may be coming.  In his garden, he attempted to prepare Ping for life without him by teaching her about ‘The Three Friends of Winter,’ the pine, the plum, and the bamboo.  The pine tree stood for courage, while the plum tree indicated perseverance.  It was the meaning of bamboo, however, that Ping would latch onto.  Bamboo bends with the wind but doesn’t break, symbolizing flexibility in hard times.  It suggests resilience, and the idea of being able to withstand great difficulties and bounce back.  The lesson would be a critical one.

When Ping was 8 years old, members of the paramilitary known as Red Guards came for her family, who were considered “black elements” due to their education and status.  As punishment for their merchant-class background, Ping’s parents were sent to a “culture education camp,” while the young girls were taken to a separate camp in Nanjing.  There, Ping raised herself and her 4-year-old sister in a tiny concrete dormitory without heat, proper food, or adult supervision.  They survived on "bitter meals" the Red Guards made from such debris as tree bark, animal manure, and mold.  Starved, tortured, sexually abused and unschooled, Ping remained in Nanjing for nearly a decade, working in a factory.

After the end of the Cultural Revolution, the schools re-opened, and Ping sought to rebuild her life by enrolling as a student at Suzhou University.  In her senior year, she undertook a thesis project on China’s one-child policy.  Ping’s research across the countryside revealed that infanticide of female babies was common, as was abortion, even late into pregnancy.  Her thesis found its way to a national newspaper, and an editorial was published based on its research, listing Ping as the original author.  In short order, she was imprisoned and sentenced to exile.  She was given just two weeks to leave China.

At age 25, Ping arrived in America with $80 to buy a ticket to Albuquerque, New Mexico, where she would study English at the University of New Mexico.  However, at the ticket counter, she learned she was $5 short of the ticket price.  Fortunately, an American man in line behind her gave her the $5.  That first act of generosity in her new country would characterize her thinking for years to come.

Ping’s time in Nanjing had taught her about survival.  She babysat, cleaned houses, and waited tables, earning enough to cover tuition and rent.  She excelled at computer science in school, and soon transferred to the University of California in San Diego to complete a computer science degree.  She found programming work at start-ups and later at major corporations, quickly becoming a star employee.  Over the next several years, she got increasingly bigger opportunities, finally coming to manage the team at the National Center for Supercomputing Applications that created the first user-friendly Web browser.

Ping Fu liked to refer to herself as a reluctant entrepreneur, because she was uncertain about running her own business, especially after getting married and having a child.  However, she couldn’t resist the desire to make her ideas a reality.  She successfully pitched her vision for 3D mapping software to investors, raising $6.5 million to start Geomagic.  Then, after the individual she hired to run the company nearly ran it into the ground, she assumed control and took over as CEO.  Within 8 years, the company had $30 million in revenues, and Ping Fu was named Inc. Magazine’s 2005 Entrepreneur of the Year.

Ping Fu could have given in and been broken many times during her life, from her dark childhood in China to her time as the CEO of a struggling start-up.  But the lessons of her father and her own inner strength kept her intact through even the most traumatic experiences.  Like bamboo, we must be strong, flexible, and resilient, even when life’s challenges bend us to near-breaking!

Until next week...

Live Your Dreams!

You're Fired. Your Hired

The movie Invincible is based on the true story of Vince Papale, a 30-year old bartender who gets a late-in-life chance to join the Philadelphia Eagles professional football team.  In the film, Vince has lost his teaching job, his marriage has ended, and he’s contemplating going to the Eagles’ open tryout.  His father is a blue-collar pragmatist, and suggests Vince not get his hopes up because, “a man can only take so much failure.”  Vince goes anyway, earns an invitation to pre-season training, and makes the cut to formally join the team, ultimately becoming a central force in revitalizing them.  This week’s story says similar things about how failure can drive us…

When young Pete would call his friends, he’d speak a single word into the phone: “ballgame.”  Not “hi” or “it’s Pete,” just “ballgame.”  Growing up in the bay-area town of Larkspur, California, Pete was consumed with sports.  When he’d call and say “ballgame,” there was no telling what he meant—an all-day basketball marathon at the local school, a San Francisco excursion to watch baseball from the cheap seats at Candlestick Park, or a gathering at his house to see whatever big game was on TV.  The only certainty was that it would be fun.

A talented athlete, Pete excelled as a boy in Pop Warner youth football.  However, he faced his first disappointment in high school, when his lack of physical growth left him a slender 110 pounds as an incoming freshman.  Initially told he was too small to play, Pete wasted no time obtaining special clearance from his doctor.  After that initial speed bump, Pete became a three-sport standout, playing basketball, baseball, and nearly every position on the football team.  He washed dishes to pay his way to football camp the summer after his junior year, and received his school’s Athlete of the Year award as a senior.

Pete went on to play football in college, earning numerous athletic honors while getting his Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration.  After graduating, he tried out for a professional team, but didn’t make it due to his small size.  He got a job as a roofer, and entered the first period of his life without football.  It wouldn’t last long.

Pete wanted to find a way back into the game.  Starting as an assistant, he began a long climb through a series of coaching positions.  His enthusiasm for the game and ability to empathize with players at every position earned him high regard as he gained experience.  After 18 years in a variety of roles, Pete finally got a coaching position at the professional level, as head coach of the New York Jets.  But the dream job was short-lived:  after just one disappointing season, Pete was fired.

After two seasons as an NFL defensive coordinator, Pete got another head coaching opportunity, this time at the helm of the New England Patriots.  However, his style didn’t mesh with the goals of the ownership, and after three seasons in New England, Pete was fired again.  With the unfortunate label of “damaged goods” beginning to follow him around, Pete spent a year consulting for pro and college teams, writing a football column, and doing charitable work for the NFL.  In that time, his sense of competition intensified, and he began doing everything he could to prepare for his next opportunity.

When USC took a chance on Pete, who wasn’t their first, second, or even third choice, he was ready, and credits his firings as a huge part of making him a better coach.  He must be right.  Under Pete Carroll as head coach, the USC Trojans established a record of 96 wins and only 19 losses in 9 years, during which time they won two national championships.  This set the stage for Pete’s return to professional football, becoming head coach of the Seattle Seahawks in 2010.  Pete completely revamped the Seahawks roster and built the team that, just three years later, advanced to Seattle’s first-ever Super Bowl and a victory in 2014.

Pete Carroll’s path to football greatness was a checkered one, and says much about the critical, life-enhancing value of failure as a component to future success.  Failing seems like something we should avoid, but the simple truth is, some of the most important experiences we’ll need to live our best lives can only be gained by enduring and learning from failure.  Don’t give up, view failure as a source of constructive feedback, and you can coach yourself to the top of your game!

Until next week...

Live Your Dreams!